50%

I'm on the verge of doing something huge in my life.

Something I've never done before.

To resign from my current job, without having a new one.

I know, it sounds so crazy. Especially in this economy, in this crazy situation where looking for a job is not the easiest thing.

But I kinda already made up my mind. I already submitted my letter weeks ago, and it's just counting days until my last day and I'm officially unemployed. And now I'm in Bali, doing my huge side job which became my core excuse of resigning because this project could substitute two and a half month of my salary. A solid supplement to support my job hunting the next two months.

Sounds neat, eh?

Yeah but deep inside I'm still hesitating though. I'm still 50% sure.

Thinking whether it's a good call? Or it's just an impulsive action birthed by the disappointment of my management? Because to be honest, it's 50% true especially as my coworker sees me leaving as the act of "rage quit".

And what if the plan flops? What if after two months I haven't landed in any new jobs? And I have to use up my emergency saving which is originally to cover my mortgage? Not to mention for my own needs, and my family expenses?

As all those scenarios ran amok inside my head, while my fingers absently typed stories on the laptop keyboard... this catchy Japanese song by Official Hige Dandism played on my Spotify.

At first it was just a good song I put on my playlist this time, but as it got repeated time and time, it got me thinking, "what does this song mean?" and so I browsed the lyrics, which I didn't understand, and then searched the translated lyrics, and there I was, petrified upon the first encounter with the words.

It's not just a song.

It's an encouragement, to slow down. To not fall for the world's standard of perfection. To eventually think about yourself, let go of the burdens, stop giving 100%, and start settling at 50%.

Fuck.

How on earth could this song be here? Exactly when I'm having all these feelings, while standing on these uncertain crossroads.

競争の義務はない リングもコースもない

There's no obligation to compete, no ring, no racecourse.

It's weird that I always see something as competition. All the hustles I did all these years, which really, has been growing crazier lately, what are they for?? I punch air and kick shadows, while there's no ring. I run to be better than anyone else, while there's no racecourse. And guess what? Others don't care, apparently. They do things on their own pace so, really, what am I doing??

ってかきっと背負い込み過ぎていない？

でも下ろしたいわけじゃない？

自分の身体への問いかけを忘れてはいけない

But hey, aren't you carrying too much on your shoulders? And yet, it's not like you want to pull it all down, is it? Don't forget to check in with your body, it seems like it's the key.

I feel like stripped naked by their words. I did carry too much on my shoulders, the burden to make my parents happy, to be reliable among my colleagues, to live up to my own hopes and expectations, and yes I didn't have any plan to slow down but then at what price?

My own breath.

I didn't realize I've been running way too fast. I've always felt like I could, but it's only because I didn't listen to myself. Only after I listened to this song I realized that...

I fucking need to slow down. Not because I'm a loser, but because I need to take a breather so I can aim even better afterwards.

労って熱いハグで全体気をつけんで

休んで備えてここぞでだけで放って君の[100]％！！！

Take care of yourself with a warm hug and be careful. Rest and prepare, but only when it really matters, let go and give your 100%!!!

Even they had that in their song.

Damn you, Official Hige Dandism. I didn't know I was drawn to you for more than just your catchy tunes. You hid all these amazing meanings inside your works and delivered it spot on to one of your listeners just when he needed it the most, like a warm hug.

Thank you for the reminder.

I will take care of myself better, and be more careful.
I will rest and prepare for what's coming, whatever it is.
I will let go what's gone, take a breather, and go all out afterwards.

But as you also encouraged in this masterpiece of yours...
For now...

改めて今日から俺らは50%定位置で！

Starting today,
Let's settle at 50%

A Man with Multiple Faces

It's a phase in my life I've never seen before.

I'm still doing my job. That's one.

But actively looking for another like, really active, with all interviews and stuff. That's two.

At the same time I'm pursuing my bodycombat instructor journey, teaching 5 classes per week. And that's three.

Also dealing with my house needs which is in transition to the new management. Oh so it's four.

And ongoing with my side job as creative and social media consultant, total 12 sessions but halfway through. Five.

And lastly, just onboarded in yet another side gig, this time for travel writing, three projects in total, now hustling to find a local guide, while waiting for the next briefing. Six???

How am I doing all these at the same time?

I don't know but my friends said it's amazing.

Oh wait, not only them.

Even I, do really

Admire myself for this

リライト

Guess what.

The last time I went to a concert was in 2019. End of 2019 actually, just before the pandemic so no wonder, right? And it was a festival, not even an individual concert. I couldn’t really recall when was the last time I went to an actual one-musician-show concert, the last blog post I had for this was back in 2016 for God’s sakes!

The point is, it’s been TOO LONG since the last time I went to a real concert. The one that only showcases ONE artist be it a solo or a band. The one that doesn’t require stages changing and schedule planning. Yet I didn’t really notice that, until I saw this announcement.

 

At first...

I was surprised by the fact that...
This is freaking ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION.

Honestly I was not yet a big fan of them -was, because now, of course I fucking am now!- but they are a part of my childhood and early adulthood during my long-running Naruto era. And I know that they really are a big name in Japanese rock music industry so of course seeing that poster the first time I told myself,

“You’re going, Vick. You’re going, and you’re gonna be screaming Haruka Kanata out of your heart and throat.”

So I bought the ticket out of my sheer desire to pay homage to one of my childhood anime musicians. Nothing else, all pure for Naruto. I even thought straight in planning which outfit I’ll be wearing, disregarding the fact that I had a bigger homework to do: memorizing their hit songs.

Oh that “memorizing their hit songs” phase. 2-months full of cramming Ajikan’s songs into my ears and abusing my soul with sudden Japanese rock tunes. In Jakarta, in Bali, then back in Jakarta then back in Bali then straight to the concert venue.

At first there were only five biggest hit songs I crammed into my daily life, two of which I knew already. Then I warned myself that this wasn’t enough. Obviously. So I added five more after thorough research on the internet and Spotify listeners rank. After trying hard to get myself used to those 10 songs and its lyrics -of course I had to memorize the lyrics also, I wanted to sing along!- I began to realize that, no, this was still not enough.

So upon my second trip to Bali during this “memorizing their hit songs” phase, I added 10 more songs -TEN!! HAHA I WAS SO DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT THIS “SCREAMING AJIKAN’S SONGS OUT OF MY HEART AND THROAT” THING!- to the total of 20 songs, all played endlessly on my way to, across the streets and beaches in, and then back from Bali.

Then...

It came to my realization that...
I think I fell in love with AJIKAN.

How did I not? The songs played as the background to my WHOLE trip. Whether I realized which title was playing or not, it all played. So it subconsciously lingered to my brain. And it kept playing through my subconsciousness even when my Spotify is off, and it kept playing in my head even when I was asleep.

Rock music is not actually my main forte. But Ajikan already stole my heart with their Naruto appearances so somehow, I could tolerate their music. And eventually not just ‘tolerate’—I could actually find pleasure in their songs. Each title has a certain part that I love the most, which makes me excited to anticipate the coming of that part, which eventually, makes me love all the other parts as well. Is this how those Japanese rock music bands lure their fans??? I think so.

But really, it’s not just about the feeling. When I broke each songs down elements by elements, I somehow figured that I love every details of them. The overall moods are energizing. Not just regular energizing, but anime-opening-credit energizing. You can feel the difference if you watch anime.

The instruments are all beautifully crafted to the point that I thought to myself, “I could really enjoy these instruments alone even without the singer takes part in the song”. And surprisingly, I could’t wait to listen to those instruments on the live concert—something I rarely anticipated from a musician! The vocal, oh the vocal... Gohto-san is such a godly rock star indeed. And the fact that these songs are so compact none of them are overly repeated and none of them has a boring stretched part, I didn’t know how they consistently do it!

It’s crazy.

Crazy to think that I can be easily falling into their music. Crazy to think of, why on earth didn’t I listen to their songs years and years earlier? At this point I could’ve been a freakier fan, purchasing their most expensive ticket, fighting for their meet-and-greet session, gulping their official merchandises, wearing them proudly on the floor while screaming the loudest among the crowds as if I’m their number one groupie and know them the best.

But that’s okay. I was not that late yet. I still got to see them and catch their concert, and be that freaky fan in my own spontaneous way now that I grew stronger love towards them.

And so I left Bali, still with those 20 songs playing non-stop through my AirPods, back to Jakarta where the first concert of Asian Kung-fu Generation would take place, exactly the next day.

Oh the concert...

It's gon' be a long one as well so...

Let's rewrite it in another post.

Sounds of Qatar: The Late Check-in

Oh wow.

I don't know what else to say.

The World Cup has always been the forte of this blog. Take a look on all the posts I made for WC2010. I was talking shit the whole month as if I know stuff about football. And then WC2014. I got 'worse'. The blog labels for Brazil are even among the highest which means I talked even more shit during the tournament. I got a bit more slowed down during WC2018. It started as usual, super fired up at the group stage, but then adulthood hit and the next entry I submitted after my last group stage post was the "Thank You World Cup 2018" shenanigan.

Today, the World Cup 2022 has already been underway.

And look what I did? Nothing. Not even the "Welcome World Cup 2022" post like what I had always done in South Africa, Brazil, and Russia — which by the way, is what I'm doing now.

But seriously, how sad is it???

This used to be something I really look forward to. Now I'm too caught up in so many adulting shit I didn't even realize that the tournament was coming. I didn't even have time to update my blog regularly, the last one being 2018!?

Plus, this time is in Asia for God's sakes. I should've been more excited than ever gak sih!?!? How could I be so updated in every single matches in South Africa, so willing to stay late to catch important matches in Brazil, and at least keep up with most of the games even though I didn't update regularly in Russia!? Well I know the answer to those rhetorical questions but still, this one is Asia, how could I not have more excitement to welcome the hospitality of Qatar???

Pic's from here.

Well I can't blame it all on me.

At least here I am now, trying to redeem my absence in my blog even though the group stage of WC2022 is about to be all wrapped. Yea, I've skipped the first half of the tournament ugh...

Okay so here it is.

Let me make some attempts to do this.
For the sake of the old me's

Vicky's Dirty Thirty

Oh yeah, still talking about this shit.

Sorry not sorry, because we're entering March. My birth month. I have this can't-let-go habit where I turn to this blog whenever I'm reaching a certain milestone in my life. And being thirty is not just a milestone, it's a HUGE MILE-FUCKING-STONE so... here I am, bragging a lot about this.

Anyways.

Remember my plan to have fun and all dancing before turning 30? Yea it turned to be a rubbish. I was being innocent and naive, thinking that Covid will be rid soon. You know what happened: the fucking pandemic had been on and off and on and off it gave uncertainty to everyone throughout my days of being 29 so... none of those plans happened.

Well it was partly my fault anyway because, who's smart enough to plan all those ambitious dances while at the same time being busy with works and workshops and on top of all spent 3 months in total living in Bali? Me.

Then entering 2022, I began to realize that... Gosh, I only have three full months to meet all my different circles and fulfill that dream goal I set a year ago! 

Super.

So yea! No more stoopid snoozing.
And that's where I began planning this:

Operation Dirty Thirty.

I started to write down the list of my circle - whose WhatsApp groups are pretty active and that's how I thought about them - and sending codes to meet them. Of course I brought up the idea of me wanting to have fun because I'm turning 30, just so it caught their attention.

Some reacted with huge enthusiasm, some were just responded out of courtesy, and some others were kind of wondering why out of the blue I was the one initiating to meet where usually I just tagged along lol. Well this is ME who's turning 30, okay, so of course I'm the one who should be more proactive.

Again, due to the fucking pandemic, those who responded earlier agreed to meet but, sadly, only casually. No dancing and boozing involved. Damn. But hey I couldn't complain because this weird ops aside, I'm actually missing these people. I couldn't remember where and when was the last time I actually met them in person! So of course I agreed to that plan and thanks to that, two of my circles were officially crossed off of my list.

Traveloka Flocks

CMUNNY Delegates

That leaves me with three more circles to go: High School Gang, Ogilvy Survivors, and Lazada Mates—all has to be done within this month. *chuckles* Sounds crazy, eh? Three different circles in less than 30 days, all should include dancings and drinkings?

Well at first I thought it was, but, somehow I came up with a plan just EXACTLY LAST NIGHT.

Involving apartments - yes, plural - renting, a bit of event organizing, schedule fitting, works hijacking, family compromising, and, a little bit too much of ambitious sprinkling. And according to that overnight plan, this should start exactly this weekend. The first weekend of March.

Oh and on top of that, I'm planning to go to Bali mid-March to do something I don't feel like disclosing for the time being, but then I realized I could use this opportunity to ask my friends there to complete this operation and add up more circles to have fun with!

Gosh.

I never thought my 30th birthday would extend to be a 30th birth-MONTH plan. I'm genuinely excited, and a bit grateful also, for not doing it last year and just gather everything to a compact 27-day ops like this! Now this March would be even more special than others!

Really hoping that all goes well this month because...

I feel dirty already for turning thirty.
So please just let me enjoy the preparation of it.

Dirty-less-ly

30 to 30

This is it.

I'm turning 30 in 30 days.

I've been bragging a lot about this since God knows how long. Well I know how long as well, it's about... I think it's about whenever I'm having my birthday. Oh especially when I was turning 24, God did I rant a lot about being 30 even though it was not for the next 6 years!? Such an ungrateful little kid.

I'm not gonna talk much. For now.

I just want to let myself sink into the fact that in 30 days, I'll be 30.

So...
Let the countup begin

Is This... Home?

I've lost track of how many times I've visited Bali.

"Many times" is the only answer I know.

I've been there as I was younger. I've been there during my young adulthood, and getting more and more often as I grew older. I've been there with my family. My best friends. My significant other. My love of my life which is myself. I've been there for leisure, for business, for temporary living, for soul searching, you name it. During Ramadan, during Christmas, during Eid, even during Nyepi, you fvcking name it!

You want to hear something inappropriate but could really be the sole answer to this strong connection between me and Bali? My parents went to the island for their honeymoon. Not long after their wedding. So I might be conceived there. Ew, really, but this is important to track where all these feelings came from.

But hey.

Aside of that sole disturbing fact,

I do have this very deep connection with the island.

I feel like there's something that keeps calling me back. I swear I've mentioned this one too many times in my previous Bali posts, but this time, somehow, the calling gets bigger day by day, gets louder and stronger.

The biggest wake-up call happened just in my recent 2-month stay in Bali. I was in Ubud for two weeks, and I found this local laundry service which was ran by a very friendly and warm Balinese family. My last visit to their compound was specifically nice, ended up with me hanging around their super nice Balinese house drinking Balinese coffee talking about Balinese stuff and eventually...

About buying a house in Bali.

Honestly, for the whole 2-month stay I've been having that idea. A lot. Especially during my random visits to areas a bit further off Canggu, around Pererenan and Munggu. The rides across paddy fields, passing by local houses interspersed by expat villas, feeling the vibes of pristine untouched local life situated not so far from Bali's infamous hurrah—the idea was just, so nice.

And that visit to the Balinese family house seemed like validated my then-unnoticed dream. It didn't have to be exactly a Balinese house, because from what I heard from the Balinese family that kind of house is legacy and you can't just build something like that as a non-Balinese. I didn't even know what type of house, or even villa, that I wanted.

I wanted a house, in Bali. That's it.

Maybe that's why I've always felt this way towards Bali. Maybe that's why I constantly get all those callings from invincible Bali spirits. Maybe that's why I got all those wounds from falling off my motorbike, so I had a blood contract with Bali—and maybe that's why I got all those stitches on my foot, so I'd be forever bind by the story of Bali.

Alright, this is it. I've had enough signs. There's just one thing left. Not a question, just a confirmation for me before I really am gonna go with it.

I'm not supposed to ask this because...

I feel like I know the answer. Know too damn well.

But for one last time, I really want to confirm to myself.

Isn't This... Home?

Check-in

Hello.

My long abandoned blog.

And happy new year! Gosh it's been so long since the last time I wrote here, eh? And gosh, has it always been like that? The way I opened my blog post? Lol anyways.

HOW HAVE I NOT BEEN WRITING FOR SO LONG!?

I've been doing amazing stuff apart from watching sports and animes which were the only entries I made for the whole 2021. YES can you believe it!? As per now, January 4th 2022, I only made SIX blog posts in total - unbelievable! - including one F1 race review, two Olympic-related rants, and three posts about my Studio Ghibli marathon project — which all of those topics are obviously not finished yet because of course it should take more than just six articles!? Some of them are even on the draft already, ready to be finished and published...

Gosh I really miss those days when I was all too excited about everything, that whenever I just had a wonderful day it took only three days max for me to write it down here.

I miss you, my blog, really.

And that's why I'm here now, to drop all the topics I thought I owe my blog to tell, some of which even dated back in 2018! God bless you, Vicky Amin crazy pathetic procrastinate...

Anyways, so here goes:

2018

• The Toy Story Project: Bullseye & Wheezy
• 2018 World Cup Closing Post - yep no, sorry, I can't leave it hanging like that...

2019

• New Job
• Bali Solo Trip
• Bali Outing Trip
• Bali High School Trip
• Italy Trip
• Italian Grand Prix
• The Toy Story Project: Slinky
• Xie Xie, 2019

2020

• Taiwan Trip
• Bali Business Trip
• The Pandemic
• Canceled Japan Trip
• Podcast Lyfe
• Goodbye, Godwit
• New Job - again, lol surprise! I've changed job twice during the hiatus
• Bahrain Grand Prix
• Toys, Toys, Toys
• Thanks But No Thanks, 2020

2021

• Workshop Era Begins
• Work From Bali: Part One
• 2020 Olympics: Favorite Sports & Athletes
• Gift from the Office - oh yeah I won't spoil through the title so...
• Italian Grand Prix, Again and Again
• Saudi Arabia Grand Prix
• Abu Dhabi Grand Prix
• Work From Bali: Part Two
• Project Twenty One: Batch Three
• Thanks, Finally, 2021

Well, a lot of homework, eh? I better start working on those posts and talk less here. Or should I make it as one of my new year resolution?

Yea whatever it is,

Wish me luck!

Project Twenty One: Batch Three

So here we are, in the last batch of watching-all-Studio-Ghibli-movies project.

Seven more of the studio's films had done, which means that now I have the complete list of the ranked Ghibli movies. Which I'm actually still not yet confident to disclose because I couldn't even decide if I'm agreeing with myself or not.

But anyways, before we proceed to the list, let me give the reviews to the final seven films. The last reviews of this project.

Tales from Earthsea | 2006

Honestly, I had a very VERY big expectation towards this one. No, it's not that I had heard about the film from others nor had I read any good reviews of the movie. I hadn't even read any synopsis so I completely had no idea what it was about. But whenever I saw the slice preview on Netflix, I always had the feeling that the film would be grande. Plus the animation and the drawing is amazing. Sadly, that's not what I got.

There was no background whatsoever on who the protagonist is, what his problems and goals are -- Arren is annoyingly uninspiring, grim, and bleak. The plot and element was inconsistent, starting with dragons and then it's gone until the end of the film. The only thing that makes this movie safe from the bottom is how I really can’t fit Nausicaa’s eerie sci-fi vibe. Plus, the Medieval setting and panorama are still enjoyable, actually the only thing I enjoyed from this film. Also, Therru’s quote about fearing life not death is also a good one.

Only Yesterday | 1991

Aside of how it beautifully captured the peaceful, humble life in countryside Japan, which is a big big plus point already to the film, I really love the back-and-forth plot, where it showcased Takeo's problems in a very unique way. Also, I think it’s the most lively one I ever watched, most smooth gestures, expressions - though sometimes a bit creepy - and natural convos with lips smacking?? Ghibli knows how to pay attention to details.

But what I adored the most would be the overall story which feels so nostalgic it woke up the 10-year-old kid in me, and the ending, where child Takeo and her friends escorted her from the train back to the village, to the arms of Toshio... AAAAAA so beautiful I cried! A bit downfall: though Hirota is such a dream boy, his seiyuu just doesn’t match... and though Taeko’s father is such a daddy, he’s a bit annoying and... wait, come to think of it, her whole family IS annoying! Poor little Taeko :(

Ponyo | 2008

One of the movies I've watched before, which happened, I guess, more than 10 years ago? Haha I can't believe I had the audacity to put this film in a lower rank so far only basing from my 12-year-old memory because TO HELL WITH THAT, I knew nothing!?

Ponyo is really THAT magical, THAT colorful. No wonder it received amazing credits from even Hollywood stars. It's such a pristine movie featuring children’s innocence and curiosity - both Sosuke and Ponyo are so adorable I’d protect those two! - with a glimpse of “look what you did to the ocean, human!” which I like. My highlight though, is the film's delicate depiction of water, be it the ocean tsunami, the waves breaking the rocky beach, the fish-to-water-and-vice-versa transformation, the boiling water in the pot, the honey, the crystal clear ocean bottom, the rain, SO REFRESHING! And the gesture of Ponyo’s mother is just so alive I enjoyed every inch of her moves!!!

Whisper of the Heart | 1995

Another amazing real-life heartwarming piece revolving around junior high students with their simple love triangle trouble, school tests, cluelessness of future, funny curious classmates - them teasing Shizuku when Seiji came to her class is the best! - and heartbreak of being left by your crush ahhh I just love this type of nostalgic theme. Oh my favorite part though: when Shizuku and Seiji sing “Country Road” together and then the ojiichantachi came to join. And this is why this is the only review with video haha enjoy!

Kiki’s Delivery Service | 1989

Super light, easy to watch and everything’s just so smooth—such a comfort film where it’d be a mood-booster anytime being watched! The warmth of people inside the film is just bursting you’ll feel like you’re Kiki herself lol. And plus points to the strong European/Italian vibe which is just of the right portion it feels amazing!

When Marnie Was There | 2014

Another beautiful depiction of life in countryside Japan, but, done in the more modern Ghibli-style animation which fits better to my taste haha. Story-wise, I LOVE IT! Love the combination of the said great animation with such mythical feel and mysterious plot. Although towards the end it’s pretty much guessable, but for the whole portion of the story it was nice to be left guessing in curiosity. The epic part is the ending though, you know, the part where Marnie waves goodbye. Yea it is a tearjerker, maybe not for everyone, but enough for my poor soft heart...

Spirited Away | 2001

Well, this is it. I don't think I need to describe how majestic this film is. The epitome of the studio, the real representation of Ghibli's magic. All the whimsical and absurdity of Ghibli gathered here somehow, to make this grand, festive piece of art. And what makes it even better is how those things were also combined with strong Japanese elements like, the ryokan and onsen life, the classic tram in the midst of nowhere, and more!

Personal experience wise, Spirited Away hits it good to me. I think it was the first Ghibli movie I ever watched - if I don't count Grave of the Fireflies ya - and it left a very deep impression to me. I didn't exactly understand what the film really tried to tell us, but at least the grandeur of its animation really blew me away.

Then years after, I had the chance to visit Jiufen, a small town in Taiwan where the film's setting was inspired from. When I was there the atmosphere, the floating lanterns, the dull colors of the buildings shone by red fluorescent of the lights, and of course, all the No Face souvenirs sold around, really woke the long-sleeping memories of the film. And to make things even better, it was raining! Something I really fond of in Studio Ghibli movies.

What made this even more special was, when I watched this film again as a part of this project, it was today, December 31st—the exact same day when I was in Jiufen 2 years earlier. I wasn't really planning for that because by the time I realized 2021 was almost over, I still had three more films yet to watch. So I rushed into Kiki and Marnie, and happened to be able to watch Chihiro today, exactly a day before the year ends. Well it sounds stupid but this kind of coincidences and universe plays are just really my thing and... I actually am sold for it.

Anyways.

That should be it. Now that I've completed all 21+1 Ghibli movies, I think I'm ready to reveal my final rankings.

1. Howl’s Moving Castle
2. Arrietty
3. The Tale of Princess Kaguya
4. Spirited Away
5. From Up On Poppy Hill
6. The Wind Rises
7. Ponyo
8. Castle In The Sky
9. Grave of the Fireflies
10. My Neighbor Totoro
11. When Marnie Was There
12. Only Yesterday
13. Whisper of the Heart
14. Kiki's Delivery Service
15. The Cat Returns
16. Pom Poko
17. Princess Mononoke
18. Porco Rosso
19. Ocean Waves
20. My Neighbors the Yamadas
21. Tales from Earthsea
22. Nausicaa

There you go. The super subjective ranking of all Studio Ghibli's films, based on my 29 year-old point of view. Which had changed a lot since I was first exposed to Ghibli films around 15+ years ago. Which just now gave me more ideas...

What if, in 15+ years from now, I do this all over again?

To see if my views towards these movies change again? I may matured a lot now compared to the child version of me, but I may have even more complex views in the future, with a whole new perspective and preference. Who knows that the 47 year old me would prefer Nausicaa more than Spirited Away, right?? Haha that's gonna be fun. I'll remind myself to do so. But for now, I think I'm pretty much satisfied with this list.

So...

I'll see you guys later.

When I'm 40 or 50 I think.

To see if I still can enjoy the same

Studio Ghibli Magic

Bloody Trip

Okay what happened next.

Yea, let's cut the crap again because it's the continuation of the previous post.

So this, is another tale very unlikely to happen in real life.

A tale presented to you, by karma.

Why, because, oh God the superstitions growing in these series of unfortunate events is almost impossible! Only the unluckiest guy would experience this dreadful, horrid incident, and that guy is me!

xxx

Now then.

The day of my freedom has come.

The day I've been waiting for. The day I finally thought that I'd be back to my explorer self.

xxx

xxx. And so...

I fell off the bike.

xxx

xxx. And the thing I really don't want to hear, EVER, finally came out of her mouth.

I couldn't get wet for another two weeks.

Fuck. I was losing it, really.

xxx

And the idea of having a road accident, yet it all happened at the fucking same visit, it was just all beyond me!?

xxx

Eventually, my final moment of freedom, the day when I got to finally dip myself into the ocean - not just the water from the bathroom shower - happened when I was still in Bali.

Unbelievable.

Two months in Bali. But only half of it did I actually get in touch with Balinese waters.

xxx

Stitches

Okay about the accident.

Yea, let's cut the crap because I've made my preambules on my previous post eh.

So this, is a tale very unlikely to happen in real life.

Why, because, it could really get superstitious the more I think about it. And this is Bali. An island full of spiritual air and unseen prowess. I'm not practicing Hinduism, but this kind of thing, for me, will still happen anyway regardless any religions.

Wait! This has nothing to do with ghosts or goblins or any horror shit, no. This is more about karma. About getting punishments from things you're not supposed to do but you do, about getting what you deserve from things you're not supposed to say but you say.

Now.

It was on October 30th. Halloween Night...

A friend of mine was apparently also in Bali. With his newlywed wife. I knew he was coming, but we hadn't made any appointments yet so that day, I still explored by myself. It was not until I finished swimming in southern Bali when I got a text from him.

Now this guy, is one of my best friends from high school. A guy I talked a lot of shit with and joked around with, even until today. So our texts back then was just like that. Full of foolish returns, and somehow inappropriate. But in summary, all we wanted to arrange was to meet at a bar later that night.

Then I went back to my hotel to get myself ready. With sheer excitement of going to a Halloween party -which by the way, is always an occasion frowned upon by my Dad- alongside some friends, I jumped to the shower, cleansed the sea salt off my body, grabbed my towel, swung my arms to wrap the cloth around my back and bang—

I elbowed the glass rack. Which fell instantly off the wall.

On it were super heavy, made-of-stone toiletries containers.

All those flew down to the ground, not on the floor...

But on my foot instead.

The shower water then turned red. At first I thought it was just a scratch, but for seconds after, it turned to be a small pond of blood. I tried to check my foot which was covered by the debris of the glass, and there it was, opened like Sauron's eye, the wound from the incident.

I've never had an open wound that wide. In fact, as far as I remembered, I never had an open wound at all. I'm a very careful, calm person. As a kid, I tend to just stay at home reading comics, watching cartoons, playing consoles as opposed to my little brother who were outside all the time, playing soccer, swimming through the drainages, got scratches and stitches and broken ankles.

So seeing this kind of shocked me, to the point that I didn't quiet believe it. I was rather in denial, to be honest, thinking that it would eventually close if I dab cottons and apply Minyak Tawon on it—the usual way I treat scratches from my cats. But it was really wide, and so I called my Mom just to make sure that it was just an okay wound, but her respond was not the type I expected. She -and my aunt who was just near her by that time- urged me to go to nearest hospital. But a hospital is not an option. The nearest one is quiet far, and the blood wouldn't stop coming out of the wound.

But I know God already planned this way ahead so He prepared everything for me just so neatly. Just across my hotel, there was a clinic. With 24-hour emergency. I was sure this was an emergency so there I went, with my right leg walking so weirdly thanks to my over-exposed foot wound.

The nurse on call was just like my Mom. She didn't see it as something that can be treated the usual way. A fucking stitch operation needed to be done, she said -without word 'fucking' of course. I really didn't fancy that suggestion. I always hated the idea of getting stitches. Out of all my family members, I was the only one clean and free from stitches -except that one from my circumcised weewee. And I didn't plan to lose my stitch-virginity, and lose my world record, here, in this small clinic somewhere in Bali.

She wasn't fully sure though, as she needed to wait for the doctor on call to examined my wound first and made the decision. He was on the other clinic by that time, on his way to the one I was, after receiving the call from the nurse. So I had to wait in vain, still hanging on to the small and somehow false hope of being able to walk out of that clinic stitchlessly.

The doctor arrived, and with no further ado, repeated what the nurse said. Again, I was speechless. I asked if there were any other ways to avoid stitches, but no, there were no other ways. I asked if it was okay if I just got regular treatments regardless doctor's suggestions, and yes, apparently I could, but then I had to sign this fucking contract to which I stated that I refused to get doctor's treatment so I wouldn't sue him, nor the clinic, if anything were to happen to me in the future as the effect of my refusal.

FUCK IT OF COURSE IT SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME!?

How could there be such fuckable contract in this world, it was beyond me.

Okay. Long story short.

They started operating my foot.

That experience was beyond any imagination of mine. The worst part was when the doctor injected anesthesia into the circumference of my open wound. Several times. And it killed me each time. Metaphorically of course. But seriously, the pain was nasty I wish I never had to experience that again.

Once the chemical worked, my foot started feeling numb. And that's when the stitches came in. My God. So that was how it felt like to be stitched. To have needles pierced through my skin, out of the other side,  then got pulled and the whole thread was like sliding smoothly following the movement of the needle. FUCK! Even now my stitch tingles if I remembered those moments! I could feel the whole process, as the needles and threads were dancing. It's as if I was Woody when he was being sewn on that reparation scene in Toy Story 2. Thank God it was painless.

During the whole surgery -is it too much if I called that a 'surgery'?- I video-called my Mom. You know, just to keep me sane. The doctor and the nurse kept entertaining me though, while they're digging through my skin and get the wound closed off. But theirs were just formality, and I need somebody who would actually entertain me. Gosh I still can't believe I had to go through that all alone.

The not-even-an-hour surgery felt like a lifetime. You know the typical sayings in books or movies where a dying man sees his whole life flashing before him? Yes I had the exact same experience. I was practically semi-dying. Because my whole trip had now been ruined. No, not just because now I had to temporarily walk like a crippled, but more because, this stitched foot, can NOT get wet during recovery.

I mean.

How could you NOT GET WET, in freaking BALI?

It was as if I could do nothing. And that's true! Because my plan for this long trip was to discover hidden beaches, explore further off coastal villages, ride up north to visit as many waterfalls as possible, AND IT ALL INVOLVES GETTING WET!

So yea all those ideas of me swimming, skinny dipping, sitting under the harsh waterfalls, snorkeling like the first time I had my WFB, all just flashed before my eyes. And practically everything else I did before, including the Green Bowl beach I just visited right before I went home and took shower, and everything else I should be doing after, including that Halloween party I should be doing with my friends, all just flashed before my eyes.

The fact that my trip semi-ended and all my plans crumbled hurt even more than the stitches itself. Even hurt more than when the anesthesia wore off.

But yea, I think that's the karma I deserved.

I couldn't think of anything else but those words I exchanged with my friends right before the incident, but I'm pretty sure there were more than that.

Maybe because I planned for that Halloween Party which my Dad forbid. And as a gift from karma, I got the literal cosplay of being Frankenstein. On my foot.

Or maybe it's the playlist I set for the trip. It had song "Crash Into Me" in it, and there you go, the heavy ass shampoo bottle and the glass rack really crashed into me foot.

Or maybe, this was simply just God's reminder that I couldn't be too excited about anything I planned, because anything could be flipped in just a sec by Him.

The artists.

The art.
Of course I have the photo of the open-wound version and the unveiled,
un-bandaged stitched version but even I could faint from looking at those lol.
Let me know if you're curious though :)

The canceled Halloween Party gang.
Okay you know what's creepy? My friend got his own portion of karma.
He was driving a bike in Nusa Penida and his wife got stung by the exhaust pipe.
It was quiet a terrible experience from what I heard. Messy.
This karma game is really not a joke.

Well I couldn't be mad about this.

I know karma exists and I know how it works.

Although...

What happened not so long after this incident, though it was still a part of this karma saga, really drove me to the verge of my sanity. But I'm not gonna tell you in this post because otherwise it'll be a novel.

So this karma-vibe story,

Is stitched to the next post

Work From Bali: The Encore

xxx.

Just the recap of the 2-month stay.

xxx

Project Twenty One: Batch Two

Seven more of Ghibli's twenty one movies had done.

I really enjoyed the watching, but not so much the ranking because seriously, it's difficult! Sometimes just several minutes into the start of the movie I'd be like, "okay, I know where to put this one on the list".

And then when the movie's over I'd be like, "fudge, that ranking is not just enough -- but then I don't want to reorder the other ranks because I'm sure the other movies deserve that spot!" lol see how I tasted my own medicine...

Anyways, let's have a little review on the recently-watched seven pieces.

Porco Rosso | 1992

When I watched a glimpse of its random cut in Netflix's preview, I thought this was going to be a weird, old-like, full fantasy thing that I wouldn't enjoy -- well I was given the scene of a pig dressed like a pilot, living in a normal world of human, of course my first impression was going that way!? But apparently Porco Rosso exceeded my initial expectation and turned out to be surprisingly light and bright! I really love the European vibe - although setting wise it looked more like Ventimiglia than other lovely European cities - but even love more the Mediterranean coastal scenes! Its touch of historical World War setting also helped enriching the story, and that hidden cove where the pig resides, well, that really was my favorite part.

From Up on Poppy Hill | 2011

I'm not sure where to start because... I really REALLY enjoyed this movie! Although it didn't boast Ghibli's signature magical element, it really stole my all with its heartwarming teenage school-and-family story and incredible up-and-down-making twists. And don't get me started with the movie's amazing atmosphere of old 60s Japan, Tokyo during Olympics 1964 euphoria, and typical Japanese school life. Argh, there's just nothing going wrong with this one!

And I'm not trying to be corny here - but I guess I am - but I must say I really ship Umi and Shun's relationship I mean... I'm obviously no longer a teenager like, I'm around 12 years older than a high school teenager, but somehow the thing that these two had felt super relatable, and the whole plot was not-too-much romantic with freaking cute gimmicks here and there making me feel like a teenage girl! Overall you won't be getting actions and/or supernatural stuff like Ghibli's other pieces, but I guess that's the beauty of this movie.

Castle in the Sky | 1986

Out of Ghibli’s three, famous and most-loved old epic-fantasy films, "Laputa" is personally bearable and surprisingly enjoyable to me. You know how I always got eerie vibes from watching dark, creepy old films like "Princess Mononoke" and "Nausicaa"? Well, I didn't feel it here. I loved it, in fact. The fights was great, the floating castle was magical, and the short life in Dola’s ship was probably the best part. Overall setting was still relatable, and the music, though equally eerie, was of a moderate level. And I guess, it’s also the side characters that made this movie fun. You know, those "villains" which started as foes then turned out to become allies.

The Cat Returns | 2002

First of all, this movie is about cats. So I knew anything wouldn't go wrong with this one. Then the rest is just perfection: a combo of real Japan life and Ghibli’s magical touch, light plot but comes with some actions as well. I also enjoyed the warm twists, which honestly I could guess way before it was revealed because, again, this movie has a light plot. One downfall though: duration's not long enough!

My Neighbor Totoro | 1988

Well, should I actually make a review of "My Neighbor Totoro"? We all love this Ghibli's iconic masterpiece. It's heartwarming, it's whimsical in a beautiful way, it has Ghibli's top-ranked favorite characters so of course we can't look down on it, and when you really really realize, there's just nothing dark and heavy about this movie: everything's child-friendly, fun and games, even the conflicts seemed mood-lifting instead of emotion-destructing, and watching this made me feel like a kid again! Although the first time I watched this movie was when I was 20-ish.

Pom Poko | 1994

Along with "My Neighbor Totoro", this was among five Ghibli films I had watched before. In fact, Pom Poko was the third one, just several days after "Ponyo". So yea perhaps I was like... ten? I remember back then I wasn't quiet enjoying the film because I thought it was boring. Now that I watched this again with more mature perspective, it turns out that the reason why I didn't enjoy "Pom Poko" as a kid was because the cause highlighted in this movie was quiet "heavy" in a way. It showed another issue of human exploiting nature, but through animals’ perspective so it hits a bit harder than "Princess Mononoke" or "Nausicaa" to me. Plus it seemed much more bearable than those Ghibli human/nature type of movies because the setting is of actual Japan. Overall, actually, with such deep message and ironic reflection of what's really happening in the real world that "Pom Poko" conveyed, I'd really rank this movie higher than "My Neighbor Totoro".

What held me back from doing so is how this film, though seemingly fun and light and kid-friendly with cartoonish characters, is actually really dark. And I just don’t like how human eventually won and the raccoons had to give in, to move away or settle in sewers, or opted to live a fake, non-desirable life as human; while some of them who couldn't transform and failed to find a new place to live even had to DIE!? A realistic situation, actually, but I just don’t fancy it. I wish the ending was just not so depressing. Well it doesn't change the fact that racoons and other woodland creatures are actually losing their homes thanks to fucking human's greed but, at least... well... ugh I hate this :(

The Wind Rises | 2013

Another dark story covered in bright and light vibe - Ghibli's just so good at it! When enjoyed just from its setting of old 1930s Japan, summer feeling with cheerful scores, greeneries and breezes, and overall “I have to achieve my dream” mood, it’s a very pleasing film. The over-detailed aeronautical stuff isn’t quiet enjoyable for me, though, obviously it's a fetish to Miyazaki. But I didn't find it too annoying that it ruined my whole impression of the movie. Well, so, what's so dark about it?

The fact that the aircraft designs Jiro and his comrades were fighting to create was to be used in wars, and how none of the planes return home, well, that's really dark, isn't it? That's just not about it. On top of those "professional problems", the movie's "personal problem" which highlights this dying lover who patiently wait for the protagonist to fulfill his dream, and the fact that she left home so she could die without her family having to deal with the fuss - fudgeee that ending was so crazy!!! - made this film just so devastatingly heart-breaking. But I guess that’s simply the beauty of it.

Well.

It's fourteen already, in addition to the first batch of rank I made weeks ago. and I'm seriously having a hard time putting my preferences haha well let's just say it goes like this for now:

1. Howl’s Moving Castle
2. Arrietty
3. The Tale of Princess Kaguya
4. Spirited Away*
5. From Up On Poppy Hill
6. The Wind Rises
7. Castle In The Sky
8. Grave of the Fireflies*
9. My Neighbor Totoro
10. The Cat Returns
11. Pom Poko
12. Princess Mononoke
13. Porco Rosso
14. Ponyo*
15. Ocean Waves
16. My Neighbors the Yamadas
17. Nausicaa

Again, it's temporary. I still have seven to go, including "Spirited Away" and "Ponyo" I've yet to rewatch to see if this rank still fits. I haven't rewatched "Grave of the Fireflies" yet either but I think I'm gonna skip that one because the traumatic imagery still actually stay vividly in my head.

Woof! Can't wait to finish this thing and wrap up my list!

But actually, I wish it doesn't have to end.

I can't get enough of Ghibli's magic