It's Never Been This Hard

I won't take much time talking about this.

I won't drag myself too deep in this "misery"

Because this has to be the time of joy, ideally...

So,

Ramadan has officially gone.

I don't know but it felt so hard for me this year. It's just been so gracious from the very first day. Each meal I took, each suhoor religious show I watched, that ONLY tarawih prayer I had at the mosque -I'm so glad that I at least did once, that last tajil I bought at nearby traditional market with mom, that takbiran night dinner hosted at my house where all my relatives came, that visit to my grandparents' house -which is supposed to be normal, but seemed extra grand this year, that extended vacation I had with my family and all the things that we did in between, oh God, it felt so great!

Yet now it's all over.

And I don't know why I'm feeling so down about this, because we expected this to happen every year, and to end a month after. I don't know, maybe because I've grown up? That now I see the true essence of Ramadan, not only as the month of not eating and drinking like the thought I used to have 10 years back? Maybe.

Well whatever happens, I love it.

I love how I now see Ramadan differently. See my month in a better perspective. That when it's gone, I fall in a deep grief. And that when it's about to come next year, I won't no longer think

"Oh no... Here comes again that

Hard month of the year"

Türk Rüyalar

I feel really bad.

Because it's been two weeks after the holy month started, after the Hijr birth-month of mine came, but I hadn't brought it up here. So...

Ramadan Kareem, people!

Enough about Australia, I swear. I need to move on, and talk about something else as a way to distract myself. But, yeah, Vicky Amin's "something else" is not far from traveling. Especially because a new girl friend I met during my trip to the land of kangaroo said,

"Looking forward to something tends to cause more happiness than remembering something."

So yeah, as you might guess,

This post will be about my next grand plan.

And guess where the grand destination is?

The home of then grand Muslim empire,

Türkiye

Picture of Instanbul Grand Bazaar, from here.

This went straight up to my primary bucket list.

So during Ramadan this year, there's this awesome short-documentary show broadcasted by one of the local stations. It tells about how the holy month is celebrated in major cities and even small towns throughout, well, now you can guess, Turkey.

Then all those mid-eastern wonders filled my eyes. How they share foods during iftar. How they go to the intricate-designed mosques. How they prepare their awesome meals. How they go to bazaars to grab their needs, how they fill every spots in nearby squares after tarawih, how they find local entertainments in night fairs until finally suhoor time comes and certain people with drums go around the small alleys to wake everybody up—praise Allah! I'm dying to experience such grand Muslim air! Oh I've been long exposed to Turkey in recent years, but never I felt so much in the urge to visit the country like this.

You know how I really love Disney Classics, right? Including Aladdin, of course. I've always wanted to visit Agrabah. Try its crispy apples, get lost in such marketplace where Aladdin lived, admire the simple buildings. But then I know in real life, I can't even see myself going to Arab. The heat, the dried atmosphere, the idea of wandering around and yellow is the only tone I'd see with my eyes—no, I'm not yet ready for that.

But then Turkey came to my preference,

With its strong yet casual Islamic atmosphere,

With its international touch within the royal appeal,

With its undeniably amazing Ramadan culture and habit,

Convincing me that this is the Agrabah I've been looking for.

Pic's from here.

See, as I said earlier, Vicky Amin's "something else" is obviously not far from traveling. Especially because a new guy friend I met during my trip to the land down under once said,

"Well you need to book another holiday so you have something to count down to."

So, about my trip to Australia.

It's somewhat enough, for now.

But as for traveling in general,

It's somewhat an endless dream.

A dream that will always

Be a something

Rebirth, Again

In the last two Ramadans,

I've always felt like, you know,

A little bit too carried away.

As I realized that I became too busy and I started to slowly lose my childhood Ramadan rituals, I felt like I'm now far from doing my best on the holy month. So that's why reaching the end, I always begin to feel this discomfort and extreme sadness of the fact that my month is about to leave, again.

Today was the last Friday for this year's Ramadan. Since last week I had this plan of wearing my signature koko outfit for the last Friday, giving the thought that I wouldn't be meeting this day again until next year. It wasn't a necessity tho, because wearing koko is really not my thing. But I don't know, I felt like I had this urge for myself to MUST wear that.

So I just followed where my guts led me. I went to the office looking all muslim-ish, my bosses were all like "well, Amin, you look awesome in that!" and my co-workers forced me to "you have to wear this again on the last day of Ramadan, and I'll join you!" and it brought up my day. I knew I would do that for a reason.

But that wasn't it. That, wasn't just it.

Hours went by, and I suddenly recalled a thing.

Today was my Hijri birthday.

I was all psyched about that. Because unlike last year, I finally remembered that I have two birthdays. And eventho I was the only one who recognized this special day of mine -of course, who else would bother about my Hijri birthday? I'm pretty sure they don't even know theirs, I really enjoyed today a lot. Because I got to celebrate my second birthday, again.

To sum it up, I had an awesome day well spent at basically, everywhere. Nice atmosphere, nice mood. Then it led to a meaningful last Friday prayer for this year's Ramadan, and I got to close today with some good old pals I haven't met for a long time. After all it's just another great birthday I felt this year. And it was a blast, again.

"I knew I would do that for a reason."

The plan to wear koko, yes.

I knew there was something good behind it.

And starting from this year on, I promise that

I wouldn't take my Hijri Birthday for granted.

Ever again.

شكرا

Assalaamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh
Please don’t be such a peeve, I’m in the state of divinity right now.

Salaam, brothers and sisters. It’s the second half of Ramadan, and I haven’t even written a word regarding this holy moment. So before things go further, let me be a saint and wish us all the happiest Ramadan Kareem throughout the month, and days forthcoming.

Actually I have nothing to say.

I mean, no topic I want to discuss with you –or in most cases, with myself– nor issues I want to mock, no. I came here clean, no negative vibes and such. Instead, like every other year, I’m here just to wonder about… How time did run so fast and now it’s the 15th day of Ramadan already. Plus how it flashed so quick, that last year’s Ramadan felt just like a blink.

It felt only like yesterday.

When I woke up every single dawn so easy for suhoor, giving the fact that I was still unemployed and I could sleep on until like 10. And my one year old fat cat was still a –fat– kitten, still got her three siblings around and ganged up meowing us like pains in the ass. And oh, of course, the memorable World Cup that had me super active in blogging –crazy sweet memory, I swear.

And each day I spent, was to look for vacancies, waiting for my book to be released, and worked my ass up to get editors’ attention. Those hard days were really over the top. Much of a stress, and pressure, I would do anything to NOT get back there.

But I enjoyed my vacant time. Wasting every single second with my family, figuring out what I really wanted to do in life, having the best –litter box cleaning– time of my life and for that, I would do anything to DO get back there.

Because my job now got me really busy. I’m actually living double—triple life with more than one jobs so, no wonder. Leaving weekend as my only time to have buka puasa bersama moment with my family. And my cats, they’re getting too handful. Shitting here and there, breeding here and there. Plus the fact that neither World Cup nor Premier League is on now…

Oh well what did I say!

Despite what I just mentioned,
Whatever happens, I’m so grateful.

Those are just minor obstacles that I’m facing. Compared to what I earned and what blessed me, I should’ve always been grateful. Beyond just grateful.

That now I have jobs, healthy cats,
Significantly growing career in travel writing
And most important of all—family I can have meals together with.

“Therefore, which is it
Of the favors of your Lord
That you deny?” 

The Best Waste

Hi.

It's been a while since--duh, sorry I, I think it's gonna be a very touchy post so I'm using Indonesian now. You know, sometimes, well, most of the times I use English for just coolness sake. But if it's a real deal, Indonesian it is. Yea well I'm that kind of guy who--hey, kapan mulainya Vick? :)

Oke.

Ramadhan.

Sumpah beberapa bulan lalu, gue tau dan yakin banget kalo taun ini bakalan jadi Ramadhan paling seru yang bakal pernah gue jalanin seumur hidup. Karena sumpah, occasion yang benturan sama Ramadhan taun ini super duper banyak.

Pertama dan yang paling utama, ya, you know, World Cup 2014. Yang secara sukses bikin dua minggu awal puasa gue lewat gitu aja gak berasa. Jam tidur terbalik, malem dipake buat nonton bola, siang dipake buat tidur, sore dipake buat bikin postingan analisis pertandingan sepakbola mahadahsyat ala Rifky Ramadhan Amin. Sahur dan Subuh pun jadi lebih berwarna karena bola nya sendiri baru selesai at least jam 5 -kadang molor ampe jam 6 gegara extra time plus adu penalty. Thanks, but no thanks.

Kedua, you also know, Pilpres 2014. Minor sih, karena gue gak tertarik tertarik amet. Tapi mayan lah bikin puasa ini jadi lebih menggelitik. Membuat gue lebih kritis dan gak pasif meskipun lagi berkutat menahan lapar -sumpah ya, makin kesini puasa itu lebih berat nahan laper. Inget banget dulu pas kecil sok sok deklarasi bahwa puasa itu lebih susah nahan aus. Saking kritisnya, kadang pikiran suka negatif dan jadi mencak sana sini. Thanks, but no thanks.

Seru sih, emang, karena bikin segalanya jadi gak kerasa.

Hampir sama sekali gak kerasa malah. Apalagi ditambah ujan.

Mungkin kalian inget postingan gue taun lalu, menyatakan bahwa puasa taun lalu berasa jauh lebih cepet daripada puasa 2012 yang gue pikir udah kerasa cepet banget. Ya, puasa taun ini, yang bahkan gue di rumah aja gak kayak puasa dua taun sebelumnya dimana gue magang, menurut gue adalah yang paling cepet.

Dan paling sia sia.

Meskipun gue gak kerja, gue terlalu banyak ngadain buka bersama. Tarawih pun cuma ada di dua minggu awal aja. Itupun banyak bolongnya. Semalem, yang harusnya jadi tarawih terakhir, malah gue pake buat reunian sama temen temen SMA. Seneng sih kumpul sama mereka, cuman kalo dipikir pikir lagi... Gila kali ya, bayangin aja dari tanggal 15 Ramadhan sampe abis gue gak tarawih sama sekali...

Gausah deh yang berhubungan sama ibadah. Yang berhubungan sama kepentingan sendiri aja gue lupa. Inget taun lalu gue seneng dan berbunga bunga banget nungguin ulangtaun Hijriyah gue? Taun ini, gue bahkan baru inget kalo gue punya ulangtaun hijriyah, tepat satu hari setelahnya. Ya, yang berhubungan sama kepentingan sendiri aja gue lupa.

Sejujurnya gue udah sadar masalah ini sekitar 10 hari terakhir Ramadhan. Gue udah super niat ngajakin keluarga gue tarawih bareng lagi, tapi selalu diurungkan karena pasti anggotanya gak lengkap. Padahal gak ngaruh. Solat bertiga sama bokap nyokap aja pun sebenernya gapapa kan. Pun sekalinya lengkap, buka puasanya di luar. Sampe rumah jam 10, udah deh molos. Ya emang intinya keinginan gue buat ibadah itu minim.

Sampe akhirnya Jum'at kemarin, dua hari yang lalu, gue pergi solat Jum'at diiringi ujan. Dateng telat, seperti biasa, jadilah gue duduk di teras luar berbatasan dengan tampias air.

Sumpah ya, tanpa bermaksud lebay seperti yang biasa gue sampaikan dalam blog yang penuh becandaan ini, itu perasaan gue pas solat Jum'at, sejuk banget. Literally, metaphorically. Dari luar ditiup angin, dari dalem didengerin bacaan ayat suci. Udah gitu gue duduk di sebelah kakek kakek yang udah gabisa solat gerakan full, jadi harus sambil duduk di kursi lipet. Tekanan mental banget, karena gue jadi malu sendiri.

Plus, yang paling bikin gue remuk, adalah kenyataan bahwa Jum'at itu Jum'at terakhir Ramadhan taun ini. Bukti paling konkret yang nunjukkin bahwa yak, Rifky, secara resmi Ramadhan kamu tahun ini sia sia, semoga tahun depan lebih baik ya. Amin.

Percaya gak kalo gue bilang gue nangis pas solat?

Karena ya, kapan lagi bisa begini?

Belum tentu taun depan gue masih tinggal di Indonesia -Amin banget sih ini!

Belum tentu taun depan puasanya selalu diguyur ujan kayak sekarang.

Belum tentu taun depan... Gue ketemu lagi sama Ramadhan.

Kebanyakan belum tentu, tapi gue kayak yakin yakin aja buat nyia-nyiain Ramadhan taun ini. Sumpah ya, gapernah gue senyesel ini ninggalin Ramadhan. Gak perlu deh gue jadi super religius tarawih full, selalu di mesjid atau apalah. At least kayak standarnya gue aja lah... Itu udah cukup. Banget.

"Paling nggak kerasa."

Gak kerasa tiba tiba udah buka.

Gak kerasa tiba tiba udah mau Lebaran.

Gak kerasa suasana puasa dan ibadahnya...

Lord.

I swear this was the best Ramadan so far.

That I waste and never had

Check Three: Fasting Month & Internship

I don't want to be late, again.

Now that it's a week after Lebaran,

And a week before my internship ends,

I guess it's about time to tick another box.

So yeah, fasting month had ended. I swear to God I thought last year Ramadan was the fastest I ever felt due to my other internship at BCA but then this year came and... The previous ones are nothing faster than this.

And about this year's internship, well, I'm so done being used haha. It's not that fully used actually but still, the existence of interns help employees a lot! Long live interns!

I actually am still having this big thirst of working as a copywriter because umm, gotta tell ya, I haven't worked my best ass off for anything. I haven't felt the true exhaustion of being a copywriter but, yea, there'll be time for that Vick, don't be such a greed. Soon you'll regret that you have said about these 'thirst' things.

Now...

Several steps away to New York.

God, please make it work.

Just like my way being an ad clerk

Rebirthday

For you who have no idea, according to the Hijri calendar, I was born in the holy month of Ramadan -well that's why my middle name is 'Ramadan', and that's why I'm holy :)

But somehow, people oftenly mistaken the date. When they ask my full name and Ramadan is near, they'll be like "Oh cool, you'll be having your birthday soon!" but seriously guys, you do know that Hijri calendar's not synced with Gregorian. So my birthday is March 27, and don't you guys bother asking me some treats in Ramadan.

Although actually, I know when my Hijri birthday is.

All these years, all these 21 years living in this planet, I never knew in what Islamic date I was born. Mom and dad never had an idea either, so I convinced myself that I lost the track.

But fool me, I never realized in what era I'm living now. So weeks ago, I browsed the internet to find out what Hijri date was that when I was born on March 27. And boom, I finally answered my all time top priority question of my life.

And yes, it's today.

Ramadan 23rd. Today.

Picture of Agrabah, obtained from here.

I'm so glad I finally explored it.

Now I have two birthdays in one year.

But don't you guys bother asking me some treats

Because we're fasting, remember? :)