A Kitty Letter

You might have forgotten, or have no idea at all, about my story when I gave up three of my lovely kittens. It was super hard, super heartbreaking and super... Oh Lord. Well that was supposed to be nothing because, at least, they are kept by someone else, other cat lovers, and they'd go on with their lives. Happily. It will be a different story when my cat,

Died.

It happened once. A sibling to those three I gave away. A kitten who was born super skinny, not really into eating, and after two weeks or so, passed away. I was devastated already, even though it was a really short meeting with him. This time, it's even harder.

His name is Iger.

This March he was, four months old. His first weeks living in this world were like a flash to me. He spent his time inside the cage, breastfed by his mother for about two months, and just when he began to start walking -which was pretty effort-ful because at first he couldn't walk at all he dragged his rear legs instead!- I had my trip to China.

Returning from Hong Kong, Iger, you turned to a loving brat already. And became my family's dear. Your energy, your super naughty-ness, running here and there, climbed the walls and stuff, we loved you so much. Despite your habit of destroying things and eating cooking oil from the pan.

By that time, the flood attacked Jakarta. Water came into our house it forced us to sleep at the upper story all together. Since you were so vulnerable, Iger, we had you slept with us inside the bedroom. On the same bed with me--no, on my pillow. It was really calming to hear you purred, sleeping peacefully next to me.

Since I was unemployed, I spent so much time with him. Bonding, doing stuff together. I know that meal time has always been his favorite. One second after I poured snacks over his small bowl, he would dump all his kitten face over the food and ate like a pig. Then he'd sleep in front of the front door, waiting for somebody to open it so he could swoosh out of the house. Doing nothing on the front yard just, observing the street.

I remembered when you fell into the ditch. All wet and stink. My brother bathed you and when I returned home to find out that incident, you were all cleaned already. Freshly sent to my room, tired because of what happened. I knew you felt so relaxed after the bath. You slowly fell asleep, smelling nice and tucked away. I was just there, sitting and enjoying how you nodded your tiny head to the floor.

And oh I remembered your first poop. It must've been shocking to you, eh? Having something out of your bottom, out of nowhere. You shouted in panic at the corner of the room oh my God, I giggled so hard remembering that moment. Since after that, you never even once did your 'thing' on the litter box. But we never scolded you, we never got mad at you, because we simply loved you.

But why Iger, you stopped eating several days ago. You kept throwing up, choking and gradually lost your energy. The on-fire Iger we knew, put out. It destroyed me, you know, inside out. It was just so not you. And I didn't like seeing that because somehow I knew, you'd be gone in no time.

And the day came.
Yesterday, you passed away.

It was a major turn down for my whole family. We never expected you to go that soon. Because it happened so fast, with no many cues.

First days after your death, Iger, it was really hard for me. I kept sniffing your smell. Your stinky smell of your dried fur sunbathed. I kept sensing a flash of you in every corner of the house. I kept reminiscing your presence in everything you used to do, you used to play, you used to sleep on.

I hate you, Iger.
For being too precious.
And left just when I love you.

I'm finishing this up now. It sucks to tell stories about your death and my misery that came after. It's better to leave it with the sweetness of having you.

I'm tired of crying

Meow

Have I told you that I, am a cat person?

Well, I'm forced to be a cat person. Long ago, and as I told you guys in a post too, my brother got us a cat, then got us another one. They're called Ebol and Ebul. We never actually had good experience in handling cats. But with these two, we learned.

Then one thing led to another. They formed a family on their own. Four adorable kittens, let's just call them "Batch One". Today, they're a year and a week old. Yea they had their birthday last week. One year raising these kittens from the very beginning up til now, we admit that we can't let even one of these cats go.

On May this year, Ebul gave birth to five more kittens we'll call it "Batch Two". One died -it crushed my heart really bad because he was so ugly but I was always by his side along his sickness days- and the other four grew healthy. Just when we thought we had enough, Ebul's daughter gave birth to three relatively-ugly kittens we'll call this "Batch Three".

So we had thirteen cats under one roof. Those crazy times, thank God I was still unemployed back then. Can't imagine if mom should do everything herself. So yea we began to deliberate about how to deal with this. Subconsciously we would've let Batch Three go because, umm ya you know, they're not good breeds. But really? Letting go of one month old kittens? I wouldn't forgive myself if that ever happened.

Then we had to face the truth.

Batch Two, consisting of four crazy cute cats,

Yea they should go. We really had no other choice.

It was really stressing. They were like, I took care of them my whole unemployment days. Unlike Batch One which I was still busy with campus stuff, with Batch Two, I saw these kittens grew before my very own eyes. 

They were inside the cage for one full month, sleeping with me, and with my American-Vietnamese friend who visited me, began exploring the out-cage areas during World Cup, then they grew and became very demanding kittens, screaming for milk when my family and I had our sahoor, we spent Eid together, I let them crash my bedroom like everyday, playing with my stuff and I'll be like, "oh shit, don't play there!", keeping them inside during their meal time because if they eat outside with the others, their food would be stolen by their bigger relatives...

Oh God...

Then all of the sudden Friday two weeks ago my brother's friends came to take two of them. I was screaming inside, grouching to myself "what the hell are these people thinking!? I raised them with so many pain in my asses and they're here now to take them away from me!?" but I had to. So two gone, two to go.

Until Sunday last week.

Yea, a week ago. Another friend of my brother's came to take one. My favorite one. The one who was dying and I was there to see him getting stronger and stronger. The one who was the weakest of all three, always becoming the object of bullying, got wrestled and choked, and all he could do was gasping. The one whose belly was weirdly warm, whose snore was the most adorable sound I ever heard from another God's creature. The one who always stopped while he was playing, walked into my room and just stood there with his big goofy eyes, kinda wishing to be grabbed and hugged. The one who... Shit, I'm literally crying now.

I don't wanna talk about how he finally left my house. It was the hardest thing to go through. I slept early that night just because I can't stand the heartbreaking moment. And it's still breaking me until now. Because remembering that he's alone in his new house, after all these months surrounded by twelve other cats, Lord, I hope at least he's living a good life so he doesn't even have to feel lonely.

Batch Two. And that who's staring at you, he's the one I felt so hard to let go

Fortunately, the last kitten of Batch Two remained here until today. We lost Ebul somehow, she never came back it's been more than a week. So we decided that she'll be Ebul's replacement. And the one that will remind us about her three leaving brothers.

Wow.

Never thought that having cats could cause such emotional troubles.

I learned a lot from this tho, that I am actually an animal person.

But in the future if I want to have pets, I have to make sure

That I only have one and no more

Babies, Babies Everywhere

Recently, there's this thing inside of me,

When seeing babies, it's like, you know,

My mouth's like watering.

Yaa, you can tell that I'm sort of hungry seeing babies. They look plump, with round-reddish cheeks, and tiny little cute buttocks, all fresh and juicy. I wanna say that I don't want to eat them but, I WANT TO EAT THEM!

Lately, somehow, people have babies. And they bring it everywhere. Going to mall with babies. Riding the bus with babies. Here with babies, there with babies, what is happening here!? I'm like, Is this some kind of mating season everybody seem to keep giving birth to babies??

The top of all was the time I browsed YouTube to watch Elmo from Sesame Street. Yea you know how I adore my childhood that I brought everything I like -including all those lifelike puppets- as a part of my recent life. So yea I browsed some Elmo shows and I was exposed with this

It's a big lie if I tell you I didn't freak out when seeing them. Elmo from Sesame Street which I like, is interacting with that stuffed baby I want to eat so bad! If I could I would storm into my phone screen, steal the baby, bring him back home and have my own feast!

Damn you babies.
You make me sound like a psycho.
I'm dying to have, or if I could, buy one of you.
But can I ask one that can't grow to be an annoying toddler?

Well...

Thank God I have cats.

They're cute, huggy and spineless.

They eat much and shit a lot like babies.

Yet, they can't grow up

Am I Not A Cat Person

Long ago, I thought I was a cat person.

Then I changed my mind. I'm a dog person.

But then, something inside of me tickled.

No, I'm still a dog person.

It's just, society forced me to pet a cat.

Well, two cats.

Jadi kalo kalian update terus sama aktivitas gue via Twitter -buset, artis Bu?- akhir-akhir ini, hmm gak deng, mulai Februari kemaren, gue dan keluarga gue disibukkan dengan kedatangan dua anggota keluarga baru. Dua ekor kucing belia nan menggemaskan.

Mereka berdua merubah gaya hidup keluarga kami. Dari yang tadinya suka leyeh leyeh, sekarang jadi bolak balik ngurusin kandang sama makanan. Dari yang tadinya bergidik di kala melihat ampas kucing, sekarang sudah terbiasa untuk berkomentar, "Yah, dia beraque". Dari yang tadinya kalo liat kucing liar kampung di jalanan biasa aja -bahkan kadang bawaannya pengen nendang, sekarang suka iba dan tanpa disadari, nangis :'(

Yes, those two cats. They 'annoyed' us big, big time.

Until last week, the biggest uproar happened.

Dua duanya nunjukkin tanda pengen kawin. Hm. Emang sih, yang satu jantan dan yang satu betina. Tapi ras mereka beda, dan kita gamau mereka punya anak blasteran. Jadilah kita undang dua kucing tambahan untuk masing-masing mereka nikmati. Sehingga sekarang, sampai hari ini, detik ini, ketika gue sedang mengetikkan kalimat ini, di rumah gue ada empat ekor kucing ngerepotin sedunia.

Mau kenalan? Mau dong.

Guess which one is who!?

Ebol

Kucing pertama yang dateng ke rumah. Setengah kampung, setengah Persia -tapi gen kampungnya lebih dominan :'( Pas dateng masih unyu banget, baru empat bulan dan dongo. Karena baru belajar jalan, kalo lagi jalan pantatnya gebal gebol. Maka dari itu bokap memberi nama "Ebol". Ini kucing dikasih sama temen adek gue yang kucingnya baru beranak. Jadi sodara sodaranya yang lain pun udah berpindah majikan juga.

Ebul

Selang beberapa minggu, Ebul muncul. Betina, pure Persia, usia lima bulan, perawakan gembul. Makanya namanya "Ebul". Doi ini anaknya mageran parah, doyannya molor di lantai. Gemes sih, tapi pupnya kadang mencret, jadi suka ilfil. Nah pas Ebul dateng, si Ebol kayak ilang pamor gitu kan. Jadilah si pejantan tengil itu suka jeles trus ngusilin si Ebul. Tapi gapapa, mereka cuma becanda kok.

Ito

Kan ceritanya minggu lalu Ebol sama Ebul kayak minta kawin gitu. Nah buat si Ebul, kita datengin kucing tetangga umur setahun yang bernama Ito. Sumpah ya ini kucing, magernya lebih parah daripada Ebul. Iyalah, umur udah setahun, badan udah segede anjing. Tapi ya gitu. Karena ukuran badannya jomplang sama si Ebul, jadinya kawinnya susah. Kayaknya sih gagal...

"Kucing"

Nah buat si Ebol, adek gue minjem kucing temennya yang satu ras, satu ukuran, satu usia, dan satu rahim. Yes, doi ini salah satu sodara Ebol yang dikasihin ke orang. Mungkenye aja mirip banget! And the funny part was, pas nyokap gue nanya ke temennya adek gue, "Ini namanya siapa?" doi pun menjawab "Kucing, tante!" Hm. Gak funny sih. Lebih ke miris. Kasian.

Jadi selama ini, di rumah temennya adek gue itu, si "Kucing" gak diperhatiin sama siapapun. Kerjaannya pun cuma di kandang doang. Atau cuma dikasih makan, atau cuma dimandiin. Gak pernah ada interaksi. Beda banget sama di rumah gue. Ebol sama Ebul bisa beredar kemana-mana. Meski kadang mereka gak pernah bisa jalan dengan leluasa. Ya abis gimana, tiap ngacir sedikit, selalu ditangkep trus digendong. Yea we love them too much.

Nah karena kurang kasih sayang, si "Kucing" pun jadi galak. Selama di rumah gue, tiap ngeliat kucing lain dia langsung kayak marah gitu. Judes bener. Bahkan pas gue lagi sayang sayang pun, tiba-tiba dia kayak kesetanan gitu trus langsung gerogotin tangan gue...

Anyway, manggil dia si 'Kucing' malah bikin tambah miris. Karena gue belum nemu ide nama yang bagus, dan lagian, bentar lagi dia mau dibalikin ke majikannya -jadi ngasih nama unyu justru malah bikin gue makin attached dan gak mau dipisahkan, jadinya sementara ini gue manggil dia "Ebolwati".

So yeah, that's just me.

Easily got impressed, easily got carried away.

Even a cat, a not-so-worth-it-to-be-taken-care-of cat,

Could literally, easily made me attached too well to her.

Am I still not a cat person?

P.S. : It's been several days since Ebolwati returned to her home and now... I'm still feeling broken. I've missed her like I known her for so long :'(