It's Never Been This Hard

I won't take much time talking about this.

I won't drag myself too deep in this "misery"

Because this has to be the time of joy, ideally...

So,

Ramadan has officially gone.

I don't know but it felt so hard for me this year. It's just been so gracious from the very first day. Each meal I took, each suhoor religious show I watched, that ONLY tarawih prayer I had at the mosque -I'm so glad that I at least did once, that last tajil I bought at nearby traditional market with mom, that takbiran night dinner hosted at my house where all my relatives came, that visit to my grandparents' house -which is supposed to be normal, but seemed extra grand this year, that extended vacation I had with my family and all the things that we did in between, oh God, it felt so great!

Yet now it's all over.

And I don't know why I'm feeling so down about this, because we expected this to happen every year, and to end a month after. I don't know, maybe because I've grown up? That now I see the true essence of Ramadan, not only as the month of not eating and drinking like the thought I used to have 10 years back? Maybe.

Well whatever happens, I love it.

I love how I now see Ramadan differently. See my month in a better perspective. That when it's gone, I fall in a deep grief. And that when it's about to come next year, I won't no longer think

"Oh no... Here comes again that

Hard month of the year"