Sunday, April 3, 2016

No Worries, You're Doing Good

"Realizing that you're closer to 30 than to 16, and you're screwed."

This is one of the scariest quote I ever read. Both numbers are like, two of the most important numbers in life. One is the age where you depart from childhood to early adulthood, and the other one is the age where you have to be all ready for maturity. I've passed the first one, and I am now halfway to the second one.

I came across that quote several months ago, then I freaked out because, damn, I'm so close to being 30. But when I did my math, I cooled down a little. I was still 23, so it made me right in the very middle—7 years to 16, 7 years to 30. No need to feel screwed. Yet.

I laughed as if I would still be 23 forever.
Until finally last week, the number left me.

Yes, I birthday-ed. 24 took over.
And now I'm closer to 30

If you don't get it, the greeting means "awww, 24, really???"

Honestly, I kinda lost the excitement of welcoming birthday because of this. Because of this feeling. Because of this fvcking quote that now I'm hating. I'm drifting away much further from teenagehood, and shifting ridiculously closer to the phase where I should think about settling down. No more irresponsible tidbits. No more reckless trips.

Things got a little rougher thanks to one of my dearest friends. He wished me a happy birthday, and to have a joyful last year of being "18-24". Got it? The age group in registration forms and stuff? Yes, it's my last year belonged to the group. Next year I'll be under "25-35", and it didn't even come to my mind until last week!

Plus, exactly on my birthday, I tuned in the TV and caught an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It was "The One Where Everyone Turns 30". Fuck, yeah? What are the odds? I know it sounds like I made it up, but trust me, it happened. Well they turned 30 while I turned 24, but still, the feeling, it was all the same!

If I could whine a little, this year shouldn't be hard like this. It should be next year. The time when I'm in the middle of my 20s. The time I can consider as my silver age. Now with all these universe conspiracies, I think I must give in to feel the "dark moment" a year earlier.

But then again,
Come to think of it,

Well, it's okay.

Because looking back to what I achieved so far, I shouldn't have fallen too deep for this. It's not that I've been doing nothing all these times, that I should be worried of getting older.

As a matter of fact, I did quiet a bunch. Two published books, kickass trips, overseas internship -this is the best thing I ever done in my life, good career, good money. I should be grateful instead of anxious. I've successfully completed many things that most of my friends, or people my age -or even older- never even think about doing.

I went to an interview several weeks ago -in which position I failed winning because of some salary disagreement, and these interviewers -there were four of them, for God's sake- asked me what kind of thing I was currently aiming for. Without further ado, I chose "money". Not because I'm materialistic, nor because I had nothing else in my mind but money, no, not those. I then told those people that money was what I was aiming for, because

"I felt like I've done much. I've fulfilled many of my passions, accomplished most of my dreams, and now I feel like I want something more realistic."

And then I smiled to myself, in front of those people. I smiled because I just realized how I was so true about that answer. About how I've been here and there, doing this and that, while people my age were struggling with their office hours and boring routines. I took granted of how ambitious I was, yet so powerful and driven that whatever my ambitions were,

I could reach it.

My first ever permanent job.
Covered in Fashion TV Magazine.
Trip to Harapan.
Trip to Pahawang.
Trip to Krakatau.
Published on MyTrip Magazine. Great timing, because exactly one week after...
You know this scene: my second book.
And exactly one day after I showed my new book, I had to say a temporary goodbye...
To have this beyond amazing Japan trip.
Then I returned to Indonesia, went back and forth to Bali (this pic was Ceningan tho)
Until finally I wrapped up my last days of being 23 in Singapore.


Not sure if I've given credit to myself but umm, here goes: I'm so proud of me. And now I don't feel like I need to fear being 24. Because being older means that I have to achieve more, and unlock more potentials in me.

And oh hell yeah, I'm looking forward to that.
So no worries, Vicky, you're doing good.

Plus, on that episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S I was talking about, Rachel's boyfriend Tag was 24 -she turned 30THIS EPISODE WAS MEANT FOR ME. He was still playing with the scooter, unsure about his life, and the gang (especially Rachel) still sees him as a youngster.

One of the scenes I hate so much because they're actually really cute together.
Now I hate it even more because I'm turning 24. Pic's from here.

So really,
Vicky, oh my dear,
Really there is no need
To feel screwed

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