Is This... Home?

I've lost track of how many times I've visited Bali.

"Many times" is the only answer I know.

I've been there as I was younger. I've been there during my young adulthood, and getting more and more often as I grew older. I've been there with my family. My best friends. My significant other. My love of my life which is myself. I've been there for leisure, for business, for temporary living, for soul searching, you name it. During Ramadan, during Christmas, during Eid, even during Nyepi, you fvcking name it!

You want to hear something inappropriate but could really be the sole answer to this strong connection between me and Bali? My parents went to the island for their honeymoon. Not long after their wedding. So I might be conceived there. Ew, really, but this is important to track where all these feelings came from.

But hey.

Aside of that sole disturbing fact,

I do have this very deep connection with the island.

I feel like there's something that keeps calling me back. I swear I've mentioned this one too many times in my previous Bali posts, but this time, somehow, the calling gets bigger day by day, gets louder and stronger.

The biggest wake-up call happened just in my recent 2-month stay in Bali. I was in Ubud for two weeks, and I found this local laundry service which was ran by a very friendly and warm Balinese family. My last visit to their compound was specifically nice, ended up with me hanging around their super nice Balinese house drinking Balinese coffee talking about Balinese stuff and eventually...

About buying a house in Bali.

Honestly, for the whole 2-month stay I've been having that idea. A lot. Especially during my random visits to areas a bit further off Canggu, around Pererenan and Munggu. The rides across paddy fields, passing by local houses interspersed by expat villas, feeling the vibes of pristine untouched local life situated not so far from Bali's infamous hurrah—the idea was just, so nice.

And that visit to the Balinese family house seemed like validated my then-unnoticed dream. It didn't have to be exactly a Balinese house, because from what I heard from the Balinese family that kind of house is legacy and you can't just build something like that as a non-Balinese. I didn't even know what type of house, or even villa, that I wanted.

I wanted a house, in Bali. That's it.

Maybe that's why I've always felt this way towards Bali. Maybe that's why I constantly get all those callings from invincible Bali spirits. Maybe that's why I got all those wounds from falling off my motorbike, so I had a blood contract with Bali—and maybe that's why I got all those stitches on my foot, so I'd be forever bind by the story of Bali.

Alright, this is it. I've had enough signs. There's just one thing left. Not a question, just a confirmation for me before I really am gonna go with it.

I'm not supposed to ask this because...

I feel like I know the answer. Know too damn well.

But for one last time, I really want to confirm to myself.

Isn't This... Home?