Note Six: What If...

                 "... I extend my internship period and

                expand more insights about this field of mine..."

Day Twenty Seven

So yeah, something below my subconscious encourages me lately. I felt like needing to have more of this. I have to propose like one or two additional weeks so this hunger of advertising world could be fulfilled.

But you know, it's Ramadhan already. I need to check myself out first, whether am strong enough to deal with these internship things while shutting my crumbling tummy up. Besides, I need a couple of weeks off to rest my brain and this tiny vulnerable body.

Knowledge. Physical capability. Needs of vacation.

Too much to be compared. Too much to considerate.

Until yesterday, I stopped calculating.

A brand new apprentice showed up in my aspect. I repeat, IN ADVERTISING ASPECT I'm currently in love with. She uh, she's like *sigh* stealing my thunder as the youngest. And I freaky felt discomforted.

Sounds ridiculous, eh? I'm this all worried yet she hasn't even done anything. She seemed haven't found her rhythm yet, but...

What if... She's more qualified than me, and everybody prefer to work with her rather than me? If I quit later I will see her ruling the office, forcing me to witness people loving her more than me? Or

What if... I stick with my schedule, quit early and leave that girl whose competences I have no idea about? I mean, if she is good, and people like her, I'm okay because I'm out already. This is safe for my soul.

But I guess my ego wins. My curiosity conquers. It's not only because I haven't had enough Advertising experiences. It's more about me, with the help of that girl's appearance, testing myself to face every single possibilities emerging in future. And let people know that I can pick the best for myself.

So umm, I'm continuing this internship.

This is fascinating, damn nerve-wracking! But keep in mind, fair ones.

It's not that I want to explore her bad sides and make her look worse.

It's more that I want to challenge myself and make myself look better.

After all, we're both still learning