Body Full of Sins

"There’s no such thing as pure human.
As each and every single one of us
Are always under those deadly sins.”

Just today I realized how I am actually covered with negativity. It’s normal, nothing wrong with that. But when three out of seven deadly sins came right at you on the same damn day, still think you’re not an apprentice of evil?

Gluttony

You know I got a job already. It comes with good money, good side benefit, complimented with good bosses and co-workers. But I don’t know, I’m still on the stage where I can’t just stop looking for something else. Something new, and probably something better.

This morning there was this offer as an interpreter for joint exercise of Indonesian and American army. Okay. Being an interpreter sounds so~ interesting. But that’s not it. The job will be in the middle of the woods, keeping up with both armies doing their exercises to always bridge their communication! Shit man, in the middle OF THE WOODS! With ARMIES! Could it be any more interesting!? I really don’t care where in the world I’ll be placed—I’m with armed men, remember? Even tigers teaming up with apes and crocodiles can’t touch me.

But of course, I couldn’t take it. The joint exercise is next month, and by that time I’d only be working on my current job for four months only. Do you think I could just resign for that super-exciting-out-of-the-box-one-thing-I-never-think-I-would-ever-do offer? I wish I could.

Envy

But wait. If there’s one sin I’m greatly dying to get rid of, it’s envy. This brat has the worst effect on me. I don’t just envy people I know—I envy people I don’t even know, or ‘better’ yet, people far-far away that actually deserve to get what I envy them about.

So to distract about the army thing, I browsed news on the internet. About this young skinny singer whose overall figure looks a lot like me. One thing led to another, I ended up at his Wiki page, only to find out that he’s in a relationship with this musician I’VE LONG BEEN A FANBOY OF. I felt like a monster truck hit me in my chest. For normal people, this could be just so-so heartbreaking moment. For me with this irrational amount of jealousy, plus the fact that he looks like me makin me like "how the hell could he get it and I'm just here, browsing the internet about his life?" - I swear the first thing that came out of my mouth the next second I found out about this thing was: “I hope your relationship never works.”

But of course, I couldn’t do anything about it. It’s a life apart of mine, in a place afar of mine, and hey—it’s a celebrity universe and who am I? Do you think I could just fly up there, track where they are, ruin their relationship and build a good one for myself? I wish I could.

Wrath

Things didn’t go emotionally better for me as by the end of the day, I had this big argument with a friend from abroad. Long story short –because believe me you don’t want to keep up with the drama, we had this smooth long-schemed plan we’ve been dreaming about for a year, and all of the sudden he was out of reach and ruined everything.

My wrath, is not like what you think of: exploding, violent, rude—no. My wrath is the one you don’t want to deal with: silent treatment. Think you can handle that? No, if it also comes with maneuvers that can stab you from the back, making you hurt even worse than when you hurt me from ruining my plans. However, no matter how hurt he ended up to be, eventually I was the one who suffered the most. Vengeance is sweet, for the first seconds. But guilt that comes after that, lasts forever.

And of course, I couldn’t change what has happened. I told him that I now have zero interest to keep on doing what we planned because in fact, with all these jobs I have now, I actually can’t. Do you think I could just travel back in time to forgive, let go of everything and enjoy smooth life as it was back then? Oh, I wish I could.

Huh. Human.
We just can’t get enough.
Body full of sins, secrets, selfishness.

“There’s no such thing as pure human.
As each and every single one of us
Are always under those deadly sins.”

Which in my case,
I think I have seven…ty

Rebirth, Again

In the last two Ramadans,

I've always felt like, you know,

A little bit too carried away.

As I realized that I became too busy and I started to slowly lose my childhood Ramadan rituals, I felt like I'm now far from doing my best on the holy month. So that's why reaching the end, I always begin to feel this discomfort and extreme sadness of the fact that my month is about to leave, again.

Today was the last Friday for this year's Ramadan. Since last week I had this plan of wearing my signature koko outfit for the last Friday, giving the thought that I wouldn't be meeting this day again until next year. It wasn't a necessity tho, because wearing koko is really not my thing. But I don't know, I felt like I had this urge for myself to MUST wear that.

So I just followed where my guts led me. I went to the office looking all muslim-ish, my bosses were all like "well, Amin, you look awesome in that!" and my co-workers forced me to "you have to wear this again on the last day of Ramadan, and I'll join you!" and it brought up my day. I knew I would do that for a reason.

But that wasn't it. That, wasn't just it.

Hours went by, and I suddenly recalled a thing.

Today was my Hijri birthday.

I was all psyched about that. Because unlike last year, I finally remembered that I have two birthdays. And eventho I was the only one who recognized this special day of mine -of course, who else would bother about my Hijri birthday? I'm pretty sure they don't even know theirs, I really enjoyed today a lot. Because I got to celebrate my second birthday, again.

To sum it up, I had an awesome day well spent at basically, everywhere. Nice atmosphere, nice mood. Then it led to a meaningful last Friday prayer for this year's Ramadan, and I got to close today with some good old pals I haven't met for a long time. After all it's just another great birthday I felt this year. And it was a blast, again.

"I knew I would do that for a reason."

The plan to wear koko, yes.

I knew there was something good behind it.

And starting from this year on, I promise that

I wouldn't take my Hijri Birthday for granted.

Ever again.

شكرا

Assalaamu 'Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh
Please don’t be such a peeve, I’m in the state of divinity right now.

Salaam, brothers and sisters. It’s the second half of Ramadan, and I haven’t even written a word regarding this holy moment. So before things go further, let me be a saint and wish us all the happiest Ramadan Kareem throughout the month, and days forthcoming.

Actually I have nothing to say.

I mean, no topic I want to discuss with you –or in most cases, with myself– nor issues I want to mock, no. I came here clean, no negative vibes and such. Instead, like every other year, I’m here just to wonder about… How time did run so fast and now it’s the 15th day of Ramadan already. Plus how it flashed so quick, that last year’s Ramadan felt just like a blink.

It felt only like yesterday.

When I woke up every single dawn so easy for suhoor, giving the fact that I was still unemployed and I could sleep on until like 10. And my one year old fat cat was still a –fat– kitten, still got her three siblings around and ganged up meowing us like pains in the ass. And oh, of course, the memorable World Cup that had me super active in blogging –crazy sweet memory, I swear.

And each day I spent, was to look for vacancies, waiting for my book to be released, and worked my ass up to get editors’ attention. Those hard days were really over the top. Much of a stress, and pressure, I would do anything to NOT get back there.

But I enjoyed my vacant time. Wasting every single second with my family, figuring out what I really wanted to do in life, having the best –litter box cleaning– time of my life and for that, I would do anything to DO get back there.

Because my job now got me really busy. I’m actually living double—triple life with more than one jobs so, no wonder. Leaving weekend as my only time to have buka puasa bersama moment with my family. And my cats, they’re getting too handful. Shitting here and there, breeding here and there. Plus the fact that neither World Cup nor Premier League is on now…

Oh well what did I say!

Despite what I just mentioned,
Whatever happens, I’m so grateful.

Those are just minor obstacles that I’m facing. Compared to what I earned and what blessed me, I should’ve always been grateful. Beyond just grateful.

That now I have jobs, healthy cats,
Significantly growing career in travel writing
And most important of all—family I can have meals together with.

“Therefore, which is it
Of the favors of your Lord
That you deny?” 

Cherry Blossom From The Green

This time, I’m pretty sure that I’m officially a fan of Asia’s Next Top Model. For the previous two cycles, I started watching weeks after the season’s premiere, got held back and kept watching only to know who the winner was. No plan at all, it was spontaneous and impulsive.

However for this year’s cycle, got to be honest, I literally waited for it. The premiere date was on my calendar, and the girls were exposed to me from the very first second of their appearance. And as always, the one that I noticed first when the lineup was revealed was, yes, the girl from Japan.

Her name is Barbara Katsuki

Marie and Sofia's successor. With surprisingly the exact same rank: third runner up –this starts to be very suspicious.

Like the first two girls, Barbara with her green Brazilian and pink Japanese descent ‘outfit’ outshined everyone. Well there was this American-Hong Kong girl and this French-Thai girl, but hey, it’s Japan what sipped within Barbara and nothing can beat that. And like the first two girls, again, she’s super polite. Super down to earth, speaking with this super cute minimalist English-Japanese accent… Argh!

Unique as always, polite as always, okay that’s typical. Only this time, what stood out more about the Japan representation in AsNTM, was actually the physical appearance. Out of three Japanese contestants, Barbara’s face won my heart. And her moderate height, taller than Marie yet shorter than Sofia, it’s just perfect. Plus that body of hers—oh don’t get me start with that.

Do I sound like I’m making a big deal out of her too much? Well, it’s because I actually adore her. And maybe subconsciously because I also adore Japan. In which I have plan for it, but later on, not now.

What I can tell now is,
Following the theme that I set for myself lately,
I’ll try to explore Indonesia more than anything else at the moment.

Therefore on top of Barbara, there are these two I know everybody will got my back for adoring them. Because yes, they’re from Indonesia.

Gani and Tahlia

Gani. She’s been so consistent from the very first episode and oh I’m pretty sure she’ll win the competition. Too much adoration shown by the panel, too much praises thrown from the guest judges, she’ll definitely kick those Singaporean and –especially– Filipina asses.

And Tahlia. Our Scarlett Johansson. She’s so special I don’t even know how to describe it. It was such a nerve-wrecking moment watching her on the show, seeing her up and down, until finally she was on the bottom two with Gani. Worst episode ever, seriously. And that was the point where I realized that the show is Filipino-centered, with two Filipinas holding crucial roles on the panel, and that Amanda girl always being saved.

But I don’t care.

Despite the unfair tendency within the competition, Gani and Tahlia showed that Indonesians can climb up the wall without any nationality bailout. That the fairest flower from the green land called Indonesia, can also blossom internationally.

Oh, Indonesia.

Never been this much in love with you

Images: not mine at all, I forgot where I earned it ;(

There Will Always be a Way

Nothing felt much better than setting a new goal,
And slowly fulfilling it in such short time.

After my trip to Harapan, I knew I’d go for more underwater exploration. And so I started to arrange something else, for another long weekend that my office calendar said it’d be on Monday June 1st. Oh yes! Another 3-days off. I could go somewhere further this time. So one thing lead to another, and I was this close to actually ride a train to Semarang where my cousin lives, then together with him and my two brothers, off we go to

Karimun Jawa.

But it wasn't as easy as how I stated it just now. Fvck thing was, my stupid lingerie calendar tricked me –yeah maybe because it contains half naked women that’s why I’m distracted but I’m telling the truth here, it’s the calendar’s fault. The day off was not on June 1st. It’s June 2nd, on Tuesday. I couldn’t do the trip—I couldn’t take any day off, remember?

All the plans crumbled before me.
But God exists and His way will always be there.

There’s this WhatsApp group I joined –just joined, but totally not being active at all– and one day, there’s this guy inside the group –in which through my observation, he’s also a passive member– out of the blue inviting everybody to join a shared-cost trip.

Bound for Pahawang, Lampung.

Shit, I said to myself.

Pahawang’s like, a new entry to my local-bucket list that I just added on April 23rd 2015 –yes, I remember that date because it was the day I added tons of local destinations to my bucket list. Oh, and guess what, his plan was just to go from Friday, to Sunday.

Shit, that’s what filled my pants after I read his plan.

Everything just fits me. The fact that I didn’t want to waste the excitement that already grew because of Karimun Jawa, the fact that I needed a ‘revenge’ of my canceled plan, the fact that this trip wouldn’t cost me any day off and the fact that Pahawang’s one of the places I was initially planning to visit, THERE’S NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN STOP ME FROM GOING WITH HIM.

So last Friday, right after work, I went straight to Slipi with my Reebok slingbag, met these new inspiring people and went to Merak by bus. Oh yea, we’re crossing the strait using Ferry. And it was like in the middle of the night, I left to Sumatra and slept on the car parking lot with dirty wheels near my head. But that’s not even close to the finish line. Arriving in Lampung, we still needed to ride for 3 hours to Ketapang Harbour where the boat to Pahawang was waiting for us.

It was a crazy 12 hours. I hadn’t slept well yet, and the thick sweater –who the hell used thick sweater to the beach!? – I wore to the office was still sticking to my body. But I didn’t care, really. Because I knew what was waiting for me across the sea, was something that’d take my breath away.

And it did.
Pahawang was… Shit.

I don’t think I need to describe how I felt. Honestly, I’m tired of speaking all flowery about each snorkeling trip I did—it felt like I always write the same thing over and over again, because all those water I dipped in were, INCREDIBLE! Well my point is, the picture I browsed from Google successfully made me to add Pahawang inside my bucket list. Now I’m partly sure that those pics of mine will do the same to you.

But one thing I’d want to say is, that I knew there would always be a way to get me down lower than just sea surface. The beauty of Pahawang underwater made me brave enough to do freediving. Yes, I’m taking this snorkeling interest of mine to a whole new level: below water level. Okay not here, I’m going to tell it further on the next post.

Now if you notice, somehow it’s my nature to promise my reader that I’d write further about certain thing on the next post but—see, even my promise to tell more about the boo-hoo participants of Harapan never showed up.

Ugh, this euphoria…

I don't even know what I'm exactly pointing out in this post.
About Pahawang? My complicated travel plans?
Half-naked women on my calendar?

Well whatever it is, now I know that
Literally nothing can stop me from trying to
Get to know my own country